Person wearing a green hooded jacket against a blue sky

Only once I slowed down and tried to disengage with my unwanted coping strategies did I realize how frazzled my nervous system really was. While I could suppress it before, there was no hiding it now - my outward appearance and performance suffered.

The next few months were marked by sleepness nights, debilitating binges and existential qualms. Simply getting up in the morning became overwhelming, let alone commuting to work. I felt ashamed of my incapacity to pull myself together and avoided facing colleagues, family and friends.

Needless to say, reversing what years of betraying my intuition had done to me was far from unicorns and rainbows. I broke up with my boyfriend, moved back home, took a break from exercise and quit my job - all to give myself space to rest, without falling into isolation. Indeed, allowing my exhaustion to catch up on me - without trying to nullify or compensate for it - is the best decision I could've made.

Identifying as an overachiever, I struggled to accept my state. Yet, every time I was tempted to "discipline" myself, I remembered that I've been there, done that - and that dieting and over-exercising, while chasing achievements and validation were a dead end. Indeed, simply breathing and asking for help had to be enough - and that's what allowed me to progress.

Though the road was messy, I was dedicated to addressing the root causes to my struggles. Despite frequent slip-ups, I consistently returned to the course: Focusing on regulating my nervous system, rather than obsessing over shallow fixes (such as diet, exercise and productivity).

Transformation

In order to fundamentally shift my experience of life, I progressively engaged in both internal and external strategies. In the process, I loosened my type-A identity and redefined my values. This foundational overhaul was crucial! After all, transformation means that nothing remains exactly the same - and there's no external change without personal development.

Rather than optimizing for superficial outcomes, such as appearance and performance, I started prioritizing what I wanted to feel and contribute to the world - the only things that are ultimately under my control. Instead of fighting the old, I began investing in the new, including my mission.

Here I am, back home where I thought I could never be happy, yet I'm more fulfilled and at peace than ever. What happened?

Intuitive living

Through a combination of mindfulness practices, adaptive coping, somatic healing and intentional life design, I slowly but surely rewired my brain for the sustainable middle path - one where I don't rely on maladaptive coping strategies to survive, but combine internal and external strategies to thrive.

Explore the methods

What about my old aspirations?

While I still care about things like healthy eating, aesthetics and productivity (all of which I used to struggle with), intuitive living has changed how I approach these and other aspects of my life.

Food

I no longer under-, emotional- or binge eat because I understand and honor my needs adaptively. Food is obviously delicious and I enjoy it for what it is - nourishment - while primarily deriving pleasure, connection, comfort, agency etc. in more satisfactory ways.

Exercise

I intuit my body's signals for both activity and rest while listening without overthinking. No draining workouts or compensatory exercise - movement isn't punishment; it's an expression of joy for being alive!

Work

I'm not selling my soul to make a living. In fact, I wake up excited to work - and I'm confident in my ability to innovate and pivot in order to continue to align with my intuition in the future. Noticing when it's time to take a break, I do so without guilt or shame. My resting fuels both performance and play - a work-life harmony that sustains itself.

Relationships

Grounded in myself, I meet others with authenticity. Instead of people pleasing or withdrawing, I dare to honor my boundaries and be vulnerable. This facilitates healthy interdependence while minimizing drama. Goodbye avoidance and anxiety and hello secure attachments!

Home

I stopped escaping myself, chasing where the grass is greenest. Rather than traveling the world in search of a home, I'm creating it where I am. While I haven't "transcended" the darkness of Scandinavian winter, embracing it is teaching me how to live in harmony with the seasons - both within and without.

By no means am I perfect: I have less flattering angles, feel down at times, and am not magically immune to stress. After all, these are shades of the human experience - and embracing them is part of walking the middle path. I donโ€™t chase extremes anymore; I value sustainability. By accepting what I cannot control, and honing my intuition to navigate the rest, I know Iโ€™m living this life as best I can. Whether it's impressive or spectacular to anybody else becomes irrelevant, because aligning with my intuition has rendered something far richer: authentic fulfillment.

Your struggles and coping strategies may not take the same form as mine. Yet the underlying cause is likely the same, namely that of living out of alignment with your intuition.

If you're looking for a guru with quick fixes and empty promises that keep you stuck by going nowhere fast, you'll be disappointed. However, if you're craving a life of fulfillment - and are willing to savor the slow and sustainable, ever-iterative journey there - then you've just struck gold.

Welcome to intuitive living!