Rewiring for intuitive living

Our brains learn what we repeat. If we repeatedly ignore our intuition, the neural network for overriding our subtle signals becomes strong, while the pathways for listening become faint. The good news is: we can rewire.

Rewiring for intuitive living is about practicing new thoughts and behaviors: the act of adopting beliefs that serve us and aligning with our intuition until it becomes our new default. From mindfulness, health literacy, adaptive coping to somatic healing and intentional life design, rewiring makes transformation manifest - yet how do we actually rewire?

How to start rewiring for intuitive living

The first step of rewiring is to notice where you're at. After all, you cannot change an unconscious happening. Begin by reflecting on the overarching pattern, then move on to identify the trigger when it arises. If you're too entangled to notice spontaneously, schedule regular check-ins, asking: How am I feeling right now? This could help to catch your impulse before it plays out, giving you time to respond differently. 

Next, ask yourself what you want and need. If you engage in maladaptive behaviors, chances are that these don't converge - yet. For instance, you might want to plant your head in a pack of chips or lash out at someone. However, the underlying need might be to take a break. Recognize this conflict (which often feels like anxiety or overwhelm) and move on to the next step. 

Since it's our wants, not our needs, which determine our behaviors, we want to help ourselves bridge the gap. In other words, it's not about mustering more discipline, but about aligning our wants with our needs - because the more they overlap, the easier it is to take care of ourselves. To do this, you can ask yourself the following question: What do I actually want in this moment and what would support me in getting it?

Offering ourselves support is like taking ourselves by the hand to cross the bridge between what we want and what we need - at least in theory. Of course, the final step is to take action. Thankfully, this is much easier to do now that what we want and what we need are no longer separate - it's just a matter of facilitating our true desire; making it practically possible. Naturally, our maladaptive coping strategies fall aside. They become redundant. 

Start small

The above guide is very straightforward. In reality, however, you might work on step 1 for several months before moving on to the next stage and so on. This is especially the case if you've engaged in maladaptive coping strategies for a long time or are rewiring on your own. After all, the more we repeat something, the more engrained it gets. Moreover, it's difficult to read the label from inside the bottle. For this reason, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to confide in others: Trusted individuals can provide valuable feedback, accountability and support, exactly because they're spectating from the outside (they're not sitting in the same bottle). 

Rewiring is thinking new thoughts.

Remember that merely thinking about behaving differently creates new wires. Indeed, you don’t have to change your behavior overnight. Even engaging in the same maladaptive behaviors consciously, rather than unconsciously, is progress. For me, this looked like binging on purpose, rather than seemingly against my will. While I still felt like I had no other choice but to binge, since it served the purpose of regulating my nervous system, at least I now owned the action. In fact, I even allowed myself to enjoy it.

Rewiring requires mental flexibility, which in turn requires playfulness - stop fighting or "disciplining" yourself!

Innovation and learning, much like rewiring, is a creative process. In fact, research shows that learning in the form of play accelerates rewiring by a factor of 10. This is because dopamine, the brain’s “feel-good” neurotransmitter, is released, which enhances enjoyment and aids in information retention. Taken together, approaching rewiring with playfulness and glee will make your learning more effective and impactful. 

A practice for this week

Pick a quest that feels manageable and exciting:

• Write your story so far, struggles and all, and then finish with five wildly different happy endings. (This opens your mind to new possibilities and the prospect of rewiring).
  
• Think about ways to make your maladaptive coping strategy, whether that's binge eating, over-exercising, gaming etc., more enjoyable. (This invites presence and choice to what would otherwise happen impulsively, unconsciously or trigger shame).

A gentle reminder

Rewiring for intuitive living definitely isn't a quick fix - it'll change your life! Not just once, but forever. And just like that, it's a lifelong pursuit of listening inward, learning, trusting, and adjusting too. Some days it'll feel easy; others it won't. That’s to be expected. Moreover, there's nothing wrong with you for slipping back into the bottle at times. See how quickly you can twist the plot for the better by reaching out for help, showing yourself compassion, integrating what has happened and having a good time being present - no escapism or numbing needed. 

Make sure to read about the other essential skills for intuitive living here.